I'm Not Gonna Teach Him How to Dance With You
by Marbo
Summary: Rachel asks Mike to be her fake boyfriend to show Finn just what he's missing. Though, is it possible that it's not Finn's who's the one who has been missing out all along? A/N: Canon up to the end of Season 2.
1. The Rules

_**Author's Note:** This is my first fic series of the Glee fandom so I'm eager for any feedback at all. I'm not sure how regular my updates will be but I've got a lot of this story planned out already so fingers crossed I'll be a good updater. I want to personally thank Luiza, the Rachel to my Mike, for helping me out with random things in the making and idea process of this. Also I'd like to first say this was originally going to be titled 'I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance With You' but apparently doesn't allow such a long title so I used a lyric from the same song instead which is practically the same anyway. Please, please leave a comment for me. I'd love to see what you think about my writing skills and ideas, I won't hold a grudge against you for creative criticism! Enjoy!_

_**Disclaimer:** I do not own Glee in any way, shape or form. Nor do I own the song of the lyrics that are used for the title._

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><p>It wasn't a matter of whether or not Mike had the choice. Rachel approached him like a hurricane after one of his football practices and spun his head around with so many questions and demands that he didn't quite realize what happened until she walked away and he had time to think.<p>

Whatever _had_ happen, the one thing he knew now is that he agreed to be Rachel Berry's boyfriend.

If only just pretend.

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><p>Mike's phone buzzed in his jeans pocket and he brought it up to scan the text message onscreen. It was from Rachel and read:<p>

_**Michael, for the realism of our performance it would be in character of my boyfriend to walk me to homeroom. My locker's near the awards display case. I'll see you soon.**_

His eyes creased in a half frown as he looked down at his phone screen, the first day into their whole boyfriend/girlfriend façade and she was making demands of him already, in such a forceful way no less. He bit his top lip in a disgruntled manner, finished getting his books out from his own locker and began walking to hers. He was beginning to see why Finn dumped her…again.

"Michael, there you are!" Rachel beamed that over-eager show smile that he had seen at every glee practice whenever Mr. Schue asked the group as a whole for ideas. At that early in the morning it was almost like a bright light shining directly into his eyes after he'd been in a dark room for a long time.

He lifted the corners of his mouth into a polite smile that didn't quite reach his eyes and replied with a less enthusiastic, "Morning Rachel."

It was as though she took the returned greeting as the go ahead to once again awaken hurricane Rachel and bury him with her rapid words. She hooked her arm with his and directed them both in the direction of her homeroom as she talked. "So, Michael, I'm sure you quite understand why I'm doing this, and am asking you to do this for me?"

Mike nodded and began repeating what she had said yesterday. "You want to show Finn that you don't need him to function and be happy. That you are in fact an attractive woman-"

"...with many potential suitors so that he'll see just what he's missing and will have no choice but to come back into my arms telling me how much he misses me and is sorry he for leaving me." Rachel interrupted, reciting her own words as though she had repeated it to herself as some sort of mantra. "Exactly. So you must realize, Michael, that this is all pretend, an act if you will, so we'll be laying down some rules." She lowered her voice in case of any eavesdroppers but carried on in her swift manner. "Firstly, in order for this to be an authentic performance this must be 100% real for _everybody_ and that includes our parents, because even though we don't want to admit it, parents talk to other parents and then our cover will be completely blown rendering this exercise useless."

Mike nodded, his parents though strict weren't completely opposed to the idea of relationships unless they interrupted with his education, they even took to Tina quite well after she toned down her dark style choices when she came around to visit the Chang household. It was just a matter of whether Rachel and his mother, both of whom had very strong and bold characters, would be on the same page or become opposing forces.

"Secondly, though this is ironic because conventional couples would want the complete opposite of this, affection needs only to be shown in public."

Mike replied with a quick, "Of course." It was strange that this would even be part of the criteria of their 'thing' because after all, it wasn't as if they were a conventional couple in more aspects than one.

"And by affection…" she paused to look up at Mike with a somewhat apologetic smile, "I mean _affection…_"

"Yeah, Rachel, it's completely fine. I know what I'm getting into." He reassures her with what hopefully looks like an understanding smile. He was speaking the truth, not only would he not be fazed by parading around school with a new girlfriend but he had no problem with going through the whole _oh-my-God-he's-going-out-with-her?_ thing after experiencing it once with Tina.

"Good! Alright…" an 'on' switch seemed to flick to turn back on her chirpiness and she carried on once more, "Third and finally, we will not be using the 'L' word, even platonically. Because I don't want to go through that whole _I used to love him,"_ she finger quoted those few words, "thing when we inevitably break up."

"I agree." Mike said as they approached her homeroom. "And one last rule," he began as they stood just before the open door to the classroom, "don't call me Michael. It's Mike." He noticed the open door and decided it was time to put rule number 2 in motion as he leant down to kiss her cheek. "I'll see you in the cafeteria at lunch."

Rachel smiled at the taller boy, "I'll see you then, Michae-…Mike."

He returned her smile and turned to leave. This was going to be an interesting relationship.

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><p><em>Psst. Hey, yes, you there. I'd love you forever if you left a comment!<em>


	2. Mix Up

**_Author's Note: _**_Once again my dear Luiza has helped me figure points out and generally guide me through writing this fanfic so a great thank you to her once again. Although it may seem like nothing much is happening, I assure you it'll become clear at the end where I'm going with this. So please, enjoy and leave reviews for me, I'd love to hear what you have to say._

**_Disclaimer:_**_ I do not own Glee in any way, shape or form. Nor do I own the song of the lyrics that are used for the title._

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><p>"So I'm thinking today in glee club you sit where Finn usually sits, to the left of me, and I lean my head against your shoulder, like so," they walked hand in hand as she placed her head against the top of his arm due to her being too short to actually reach his shoulder, "and he'll see all the things he's missing about having me around…which is why we need to get there before him."<p>

Mike nodded at the shorter brunette girl next to him with a whimsical smile. After almost an entire school week of being Rachel's 'boyfriend', he had learnt to just nod and agree to everything that she said, though in saying that, Mike was never one to talk and protest much. Always the observer, people would say. "Which is why, I'm assuming you wanted me to get out of Chemistry ASAP?"

"Precisely Michae- Mike." Rachel corrected quickly, she still hadn't adapted to calling the boy 'Mike' yet, it wasn't that she purposefully wanted to be awkward and call him by his full name but it was just a Rachel Berry mannerism that came naturally to her. Still, if she were to fully take on the important role of being his girlfriend she would have to make some changes.

As planned they were the two earliest to arrive and Rachel led Mike to her and Finn's usual spots. Before sitting she straightened out her plaid skirt and daintily perched on the chair, the plastic chair letting out only a slight squeak under her weight. "Sit." Rachel ordered with a smile, patting the seat next to her.

In contrast to Rachel, when Mike sat he allowed his entire body weight to firmly place himself atop the chair and a loud creak emitted from the aged metal and plastic. "I wonder what Mr. Schue has planned for the first glee club meeting." Mike wondered aloud as he relaxed into the seat and, for 'couple' effect, placed his arm around the back of Rachel's chair.

Rachel looked pensive for a moment, looking into the distance with a look of concentration on her face before speaking again, "Mr. Schuester is never one to follow any kind of trend over the years for glee club meetings so I've no idea at all. Really, you'd think that after three years the man would have worked out some kind of schedule, but no, we're still preparing for competitions the week before and-"

Before Rachel could even finish, more members of glee club were arriving in the form of Kurt and Blaine. Rachel shuffled in closer to Mike and placed one of her hands on his knee as though to claim the boy. "Hello Kurt, Blaine." She nodded at each of them and smiled sweetly, "Are you both raring to go with glee club again? I'm so glad we've a new addition to the club. And, since I've experienced your talents first hand I'll be first to say I approve highly, Blaine."

"Thanks Rachel. It's great to be here. I can't wait to work out the dynamics between all of us. I've rarely sang with female voices so this'll be an experience." Blaine replied with his trademark dapper Warbler smile and turned to Mike, placing his hand out. "Mike, right? I met you at Rachel's party last year. Though…that was quite a party, I wouldn't be offended if you don't remember."

Mike let out a little laugh as he shook Blaine's hand, "Of course I remember the head Warbler. They'll be missing out on talent this year, though their loss is our gain, definitely."

Blaine shook his head bashfully in a completely modest way as the others began arriving at shorter intervals after being in classes together or having waited for each other. Mike was so engaged heavily in conversation with Blaine about the differences between an all boy's school and public school that he didn't even notice Finn arrive until Rachel hurriedly wrapped her arms around his own and rested her head on his shoulder as mentioned before. He glanced upwards and sure enough was the staggeringly tall senior. He nodded politely in his direction and received a polite smile back, he clearly noticed the intimacy Rachel displayed and he silently gave her kudos for this seemingly working. Finn sat down on the seats furthest away from the pair by himself and Rachel leant in to speak, "See? It's working; he's segregating himself because he needs time to think about us and where we stand."

Mr. Schuester finally entered the room as Mike was about to reply and was cut off as the teacher spoke. "Sorry I'm late. I had a freshman class and well…you know freshman." He joked as murmurs of humored agreement uttered from the rest of the club. He placed his briefcase on the floor and took his suit jacket off to rest upon one of the chairs at the front of the room, revealing one of many vests the man owned. He clapped his hands together with a cheery smile before carrying on, "Welcome to this year's glee club! I see we have a new addition already so a very warm welcome to Blaine." He gestured towards him as he continued, "So I was thinking to myself, coming up to this first week of school, where do we all stand in glee club?" He walked over to the blank board, picked up a pen and wrote the words 'MIX UP'. Now I know we've established one or few people we work well with but I want you all to break away from this with this week's assignment. I, personally have mixed you guys up so you're all singing with somebody you've _never_ sang with before!"

Several voices of protest could be heard with a Brittany comment in the form of, "I've never sang with Lord Tubbington, he never lets me because he says I ruin his mojo."

Mr. Schue gestured for the room to quieten down and smiled. "I knew I'd get that reaction but think of it this way, this week gives you the opportunity to show off your voice in a different way to how you would usually. You might pick a new singing style…or…a new artist. It just opens doors for us and who knows? We might find a new dynamic duo who'll take us to sectionals!" He sounded much too enthusiastic about all of this Rachel was the first to chirp up.

"Mr. Schue, my voice requires a very good complimentary voice in order to show off the full extent of my talent, no offence to the rest of you," she turned to the club momentarily before turning back "but there are only a few people who can achieve that level of expertise with my voice and-"

"Rachel. I understand this is a new concept but it's just for a week. I tell you what how about we make this interesting by putting dinner at Breadstix up for grabs again _and_, after this first week, next week I'll allow you to choose your own partners for another duet? Does this sound like a fair deal?"

Rachel sighed and rolled her eyes before crossing her arms in discontent and leaning back onto the chair, this being her approval.

"Great! So, the pairs for this week are…" he said went over to his suit jacket, reached into his front pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper with scrawled on names before opening it up and reading it out.

"Santana and Artie." Santana glared at Artie, the boy who dated the girl she loved for almost an entire year before Brittany broke up with him and finally admitted to their love together. Yes, there was definitely animosity between them. "We're taking them down, Wheels." Santana remarked.

"Mercedes and Brittany." Brittany clapped and did a little dance in her seat. "I'm gonna wi-in 'cause I have Mercedeeeeees." She said in a singsong voice as Mercedes turned around to high five her in agreement.

"Blaine and Puck." Puck shrugged, making a note to tell Blaine there was absolutely no way he was doing a cheesy 80s song. Blaine nodded politely, wondering just how it would be like to work with somebody like Puck.

"Kurt you were paired with Quinn but it appears that she isn't here yet- oh! Quinn, nice of you to join us." Mr. Schuester commented as the blonde Cheerio strode in uniform and all, ponytail swaying as she walked. "Sorry, Mr. Schue. Coach Sylvester was talking to me about Cheerio try-outs."

To Rachel's horror she sat in the empty seat next to Finn and slipped her arm around his. She looked sadly into her hands, head bowed as she pouted slightly. Mr. Schue talked in the background as Mike bowed his head to look at face. "You okay, Rach?" he whispered, moving his arm to wrap around her, hopefully to comfort her somehow. Rachel shook her head and Mike pursed his lips, failing to respond when Mr. Schue read out his name.

"Mike!" Mr. Schue said loudly for the third time before Mike lifted his head suddenly to listen to his teacher. "Thank you! I know you and Rachel are in your own happy world but just gimme a few minutes of your time and you can get back to it." He teased, carrying on when Mike nodded. "So, as I was saying, Mike, you're with Finn." Mike felt a slight chill down his back as the looming awkwardness approached his psyche, sure Mike and Finn had been friends, not very close but whenever there were football team outings they were sure to see one another and they were friends. However, given the current situation there was no telling what the atmosphere between them would be like.

Just when they thought it couldn't get any worse, Tina of course was paired off with Rachel. Though at this point, Rachel was past caring. She sighed in acknowledgement of Mr. Schue's words but Tina glanced over and became concerned that it was her causing Rachel's dissatisfaction.

Needless to say, preparing for next week's glee club meeting was going to be no holiday.

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><p><em>Everytime you leave feedback my heart explodes rainbows.<em>


	3. Brown Eyes

_**Author's Note:**_ _Sorry this chapter took so long. I was busy due to Xmas break & New Years but this should be back to being more regular again soon. Once again, I'd like to thank Luiza for helping me out with this. She truly is the Rachel to my Mike. This chapter reveals a lot more about what has happened so it answers some of the questions some of you asked me in past reviews. Enjoy, read and review please!_

_**Disclaimer:** No ownage of Glee or the songs or anything.  
><em>

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><p>"And here's the bathroom when you need a quick break." Finn finished with a slightly awkward smile Mike who he, quite nicely, invited to work on next week's glee project with. "That's awesome." Mike nodded and followed Finn to his bedroom.<p>

"We're hanging out here tonight. My mom's having her weekly womens' reading group in a half hour and she told me not to bother them unless it's an emergency." Mike smiled as he recalled meeting the friendly woman at her wedding where the entire glee club sang and danced at. "Just sit anywhere." Finn gestured at his bed and a few comfortable looking chairs. Mike parked himself on one of the chairs, not wanting to intrude somebody's bed and spoke. "So what song were you thinking of? We had fun with 'I Gotta Be Me' last year, didn't we?"

Finn nodded with a smile at the memory of asking Mike to teach him a couple moves which eventually just became him asking Mike to be part of the performance with him. Mike was glad there was no awkwardness between them. Well, on the one hand he was glad but on the other this meant Finn seemed to be over Rachel. He wasn't quite sure what to make of this assumption. Yes, Mike was a boy but he was a good people reader and the prospects of a Finn/Rachel reunion seemed slim. Nevertheless, Rachel seemed adamant that her plan would work and Mike wasn't about to get in the way of the girl when she was on a mission.

"I don't know really, it's harder to think up a random song without a topic like Mr. Schue usually gives us." Finn remarked as he sat on his bed with a thump. He pushed himself until his back rested on the wall and pursed his lips in thought for a song.

"Well, what music do you like?" Mike said, thinking aloud.

"Uh…a lotta things. I'm into a lot of the oldies. Journey, Bruce Springsteen, Phil Collins…I was brought up on the stuff." Finn explained.

"I'm…I'm not sure I can sing that stuff yet. That's really iconic stuff and I don't want to ruin it." Mike admitted sheepishly. It was true. Last year he was admittedly terrible at singing solo. He got so nervous that it was almost like he developed temporary tone deafness, as demonstrated with his and Tina's duet last year. That's why he only sang back up for the past two years of glee club. In fact, if it weren't for his dancing ability and Mr. Schuester's need for more members for the club he would have highly doubted whether he would have been accepted at all. However, since it was his last year of high school, _senior year_, he decided he should at least make an effort at everything. The world would only get bigger and scarier after this year. So, during the summer he plucked up the courage to go to a few karaoke nights here and there to get over his fear of singing in front of an audience and hopefully glee club would have another confident voice to be added into the mix, albeit whether it be a particularly amazing one.

"Oh, sure. Yeah, I suppose you're right." Finn half agreed, though something told Mike the boy was slightly saddened by not being able to sing his favorites.

"What about modern stuff?" Mike had a knack for turning things around when a conversation went cold.

Finn pondered for a while before listing a few acts, "Well I'm not that into new music. I like a few Kanye West and Eminem songs but they're mostly rap and I don't rap well. Never again after Empire State of Mind." He chuckled to himself and Mike smiled, thinking back to some of their daring attempts as a club to go out and do a random impromptu performance. Not some of their better ideas.

Mike hummed in thought, eyes out of focus as zoned out for a while, thinking of a universally friendly song until Carole's voice was heard from downstairs. "Finn! I'm gonna be ordering pizza in for you and Mike tonight. What toppings do you boys want?"

Finn looked over at Mike and he replied, "I eat anything as long as it's in pizza form."

"We'll have everything, mom!" Finn shouted back, and with Carole's shout back of affirmation of Finn's request Mike was reminded of Burt and Carole's wedding again. "You sang Just The Way You Are at your mom and Burt's wedding, right?" Mike said, slowly…almost as though he was letting his genius silently sink in first.

Finn's brows were creased in confusion at first but when the penny dropped his mouth was agape, which then slowly morphed into an enthusiastic smile and nodding. "Of course! Bruno Mars! That's perfect, man. And you know what? We can do one of his newest ones, the one with the monkeys so you can dance too."

"The Lazy Song?" Mike beamed, that being one of his 'jams' at the moment.

"Yeah! Exactly. I don't think the song's too hard and the dance moves don't seem that hard either. And even if it doesn't work we can just blame the song." Finn chuckled.

"It _is_ the 'lazy' song, after all!" Mike agreed with a smile.

After their laughs died down Mike decided to just confirm his previous assumption. "So are you okay with Rachel and I dating? I know you guys were quite a big thing so yeah…and is it too much of me to ask how you and Quinn got back together again?"

Finn was slightly caught aback by this sudden segue to another topic but answered in a well mannered fashion anyway. "I'm actually quite relieved Rachel's moved on so quickly."

"_Wrong."_ Mike thought to himself, though nodding in agreement.

"Though I think she's always been good at that whole 'moving on' thing. Like when she dated Jesse and Puck before."

"_Wrong."_

"I kinda always knew she wasn't that into me."

"_Wrong."_

"We weren't really right for each other."

"_Wro-…wait, maybe right…"_

"We never really had too much in common. She's going off to big things in New York but I'm not like her. I wanna see if I can get a football scholarship and Burt wants me to take over his garage when he retires and I'm more than happy about that."

Mike nodded genuinely this time, Finn's ambitions were never going to match up with Rachel's.

"Plus I don't think I'll ever understand what I vegan is. It means you like vegetables, right? That's why I put a lot of lettuce in her burger once when I cooked for her."

Mike blinked awkwardly and nodded slowly, "Yeah…that's right."

"Oh then that's good." Finn seemed to be impressed with himself and Mike didn't quite have the heart to correct him. "And with Quinn, before you think I cheated on Rachel or anything, I didn't. We got to talking again during the summer because she was getting down about Beth and needed to talk to somebody. Talking about things just kinda made us realize we still have feelings for each other. Quinn gets me and I get her. God knows I'm not good with girl feelings but Quinn's put up with me for a long time and I don't think I ever really got over her."

Mike understood what Finn was saying, Rachel was a complex person. Even with Mike's perceptiveness, Rachel was still quite a difficult person to fully predict her emotions and what she was thinking whereas Quinn, however complicated was still easy to read. Quinn emotions were very much cause and effect related and it must have been easier for Finn to deal with somebody who was like that. This simply reinforced the belief that a Finn and Rachel reunion was a no go.

"I'm sorry about Tina, by the way. But I'm glad you're happy with Rachel and Rachel's happy with you. You'll treat her right, I saw how you were with Tina and I'm glad Rachel's in good hands."

"I'll take care of her." Mike said simply, ambiguously so as to not fully lie as Finn smiled at him and the conversation ended with a mutual understanding before they got to work.

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><p>"Tina." Rachel said, slightly impatiently now. After half an hour of them naming each others' favorite artists and they couldn't agree with anything to sing in a duet together. "How about we both get a drink and when we come back up we could…how about we take a look at each others' iPods and work out artists that way?"<p>

"Yeah…sure." Tina replied, noticing Rachel's animosity and once again mistaking it for the fact that she had dated Mike rather than Rachel's annoyance at their music incompatibility. Tina felt so awkward standing in Rachel's house, she was already intimidating enough to talk to after she began dating Mike, more than how she usually was, now to have to talk to her one on one was proving to be quite difficult indeed.

"What would you like to drink, Tina? We have orange juice, apple juice, soya milk, Diet Coke, English tea, Chinese tea, Camomile tea-"  
>"Water will be fine thanks." Tina interrupted, regretting it a split second later when Rachel appeared to be slightly put out at not being able to finish her list. However, she reached over to the water filter and poured out two glasses of water for them both. When Rachel turned, Tina followed her once again and glanced at her watch. It was strange how early it still was, the evening was dragging on definitely.<p>

When they went back up to their room Rachel retrieved her pink iPod nano from the similarly pink bedazzled iPod dock and held it up to Tina. "Just browse through the artists and tell me if anything catches your eye."

Tina nodded and reached into her jeans pocket to give Rachel her slightly battered purple iPod. "The menu button doesn't work properly because I dropped it on the ground one too many times so just press it down real hard and it should work."

Rachel nodded and they were both seated on the edge of her bed again. The room was silent for a while as they both silently scrutinized each others' music tastes until Tina spoke up. "I'm not a threat to you, y'know."

"A threat? Well Tina, I know that. I've known that from the start. Your vocals are absolutely lovely but when it comes to a real, trained vocal range I fully understand that-"

"I mean with Mike."

Rachel silenced herself and a little, "Oh…" uttered from her lips.

"He was the one that broke up with me so even if I were to have feelings for him they wouldn't be returned. But it was a mutual decision. He said the relationship had run its course and I agreed really. What we had came and went quite quickly. I'm with Artie now, did you know?"

Rachel raised her eyebrows at Tina's words. It struck her that she hadn't thought to ask Mike why he and Tina broke up, she felt a pang of guilt that she had thrown all of her problems about Finn at Mike and not even given Mike a chance to talk about his own problems. She made a mental note to talk to him about it later and returned to thoughts about Mike and Tina's relationship. The break up seemed rather strange. Mike and Tina seemed like quite a steady, loving romance. Albeit unexpectedly expected at the beginning of Rachel's junior year, it was one of those relationships that didn't cause drama and they were an altogether 'nice' couple. Still, Artie and Tina seemed very loved up in their freshman year so it Tina must be feeling better about the break up.

"That's news to me but um, thank you for informing me. I'll keep that in mind." She cleared her throat and looked back down at Tina's iPod. "Have you found anything yet?"

Tina felt herself smiling that she made things clear so there would be no strange air about them both as they worked, even if it was only for this week it would only be right to put things right. "I see you like Lady Gaga?"

"I do. Even more so with her new material, it's so artistic and expressive. I want to reach that level of artistry one day. Though I must say, to cover her newest material would require a lot of work and vocally I'm not sure whether it would suit…_us_." Rachel said with a friendly smile at the last word. She sensed that Tina probably felt her initially negativity which brought out her need to speak about Mike. It was sweet of her, really.

"I was thinking her older stuff. Maybe even her first album because The Fame Monster begins to transition to her Born This Way style."

"Precisely!" Rachel perked up, connecting Tina's iPod to her dock and scrolling until she reached 'The Fame'. One by one she played the songs, both of them scrunching their noses up and shaking their heads at the more pop stylistic songs like 'Just Dance' and 'Paparazzi'. Just as they were both losing hope they came across 'Brown Eyes'. It was slower and both of them looked at each other with a smile of approval.

What Tina didn't know was that this was on Rachel's 'Music of yearning and woe' playlist on her iTunes and she had been listening to this as she wallowed by herself over Finn and his 'brown eyes'.

What Rachel didn't know was that Tina got over Mike pretty well initially until one day her iTunes put this song on when it was on shuffle and reduced her to tears as she listened to the lyrics.

What they both didn't know was that both of them were a little more attached to those 'brown eyes' than they let on.

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><p><em>Everytime you leave a review for me a little parade starts in my head. No joke.<em>

_Songs mentioned are 'The Lazy Song' by Bruno Mars and 'Brown Eyes' by Lady Gaga._


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